You’ve seen it before, a crumpled flyer hanging askew on the local coffee shop bullentin board, covered 3-ply deep in flyers dating back to when Sonic Youth was still popular.  You pause at the condiment counter, stirring whatever alternative milk your partner has you hooked on.  You remember your child has been running around singing the beatles at the top of their lungs, dressed in all sorts of tule, glitter, and oversized sunglasses.  And they have been begging you for lessons. 

Hmmm…maybe now is the time to start lessons? You absent-mindly tear off a tab and shove it into your wallet. 

This is the beginning of most student’s introduction to music.  An errant thought + over-priced americano + sleep-deprived parent = life-long interest in music?

Music education, like any other education, has a wide variety of approaches and methods.  Taking the time to consider some of those approaches, along with your own expectations and values, can have a tremendous impact on whether or not your child will enjoy lessons and build a life-long relationship with music.

This guide is two-fold: what to consider before looking for a teacher and what to look for in a teacher’s website/offerings, as well as general questions to ask.  As always, trust your intuition. This is an overview and meant to help get your started on your search.

PART 1: REFLECTIONS

Here are a few considerations to reflect on before calling a teacher to inquire about lessons:

–What are you personal expectations and beliefs around music.  I‘m going to get into this in future posts, but essentially as yourself what you hope your child would get out of the experience of taking lessons.  is it a life-long love and appreciation of music? Is it a deep connection to an instrument, where they feel empowered to express themselves? Is it a general knowledge and ability, so that they might have the skills to read music and play other instruments? Is it an outlet for emotional energy and ideas?  Whatever your expectations are, know what you want first before seeking a teacher out.

-Ask yourself what your personal relationship with music is and how that might impact your expectations of lessons. This is a hard one for all of us with experience playing an instrument, even if you played for a short period of time, but if you play an instrument, chances are you have all sorts of beliefs about practice, best ways to learn, what kinds of music should be taught, etc.  All those opinions are fine, but just remember that your child might have a completely different relationship with music than you do.  And it would be good to know your own personal relationship with the instrument, so you can keep that separate from your child’s needs. 

-Consider your child’s learning needs and which learning environments they thrive in.  Does your child excell in independent work and projects? Maybe they blossom under the careful, patient help of a teacher? Do they work well with more scheduled activities and lists? Do they need to talk things out in order to understand?  Knowing your child’s learning needs and what systems/environments are most helpful will go a long way in the process of finding the right teaching approach and teacher.

-What is your child interested in? What kind of music do they like? What is their musical connection?  Much of traditional music education has taught us that we are supposed to learn scales, supposed to learn to read, supposed to learn these classical pieces.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  There’s no ‘supposed to’ in art and that’s a crucial difference between learning math and learning to creatively express yourself on an instrument.  Lessons that are based in a student’s interest have an infinitely greater chance of success.  This is not to say that learning to read music or playing scales are bad.  Instead, it means there are limitless things to learn when making art and it’s important to prioritize the student’s interest.  Once you have an idea of child’s musical interest, you can begin to look for a teacher who appeals to those interests.

-Consider your bandwidth. How much time your schedule allows for lessons, commuting to and fro, practice, etc  all this is good to keep in mind. Some teaching methods require parents to sit in on each lesson, take notes, and be present to some extent for practice. So knowing your bandwidth can help refine your search.

-Lastly, personality and rapport.  Perhaps the single most important ingredient in a successful learning experience.  How often have you heard of someone saying they loved or hated a subject in school because of the teacher.  ‘Oh, I hated math because of Mr. Howard, he was the worst. But I loved english, Ms. Brown always brought in these great cartoons each morning.’  With the right teacher, any subject can turn from downright boring to something to look forward to.  So when looking for a teacher, ask yourself, ‘Can I imagine my child getting along with this person and their approach?’

Caption: our program director, Zaneta at age 10 practicing with her dad

When you tend a garden, the joy you get from the process doesn’t come about very quickly. Nope – the gratification comes with time, patience, and hard work. You don’t expect the plants to rise out of the ground instantaneously. That would be a miracle (and probably terrifying!). Nor do you attempt to make plants grow more quickly than they naturally would.

Similarly, when you learn music at any age or level, you can’t expect overnight miracles. You have to plant the seeds carefully and mindfully, and tend to learning by practicing consistently and patiently. You can’t put pressure on the process and expect it to move faster. Especially with children, it’s all in the method and manner that you work with them, and help them gain inspiration and ability over longer periods of time.

There is a myth that the gift of music is something you are born with – either you have it or you don’t. There are certainly rare cases of prodigious children playing like Herbie Hancock or composing like Mozart at early ages. Even they have to practice, no matter how easily music comes to them. But the vast majority of musicians out there – those who play professionally and those who play just for fun – learned by planting good seeds and tending to them carefully. They learned by experience and slow growth.

So what’s the true gift of music? To give your child – and yourself  – the time, space, and adequate resources to grow naturally. To have a good teacher who cares about the connection their students make with music, and is mindful of the need to balance skills and creativity. After all, what is the purpose of making music? Is it to show off and display physical talent? Maybe for some. But they are missing out on one of the greatest delights life has to offer – connecting with others and with their own feeling of inspiration, through their own genuine, natural, perfectly imperfect music.

When each song learned and each technique mastered is a celebration in itself, rather than part of a list to check off. When you feel the happiness of playing, no matter how well you’ve played. When you are in the present moment making sounds together with friends. These are the times you are planting the seeds of music. With the right balance of effort and patience, these seeds will grow into a beautiful practice that will bring you joy year after year.

If you’re reading this, chances are you have a kid who seems to love music and yet seems a little young for lessons. Maybe they belt ‘Old McDonald’ at the top of their lungs. Or somehow they miraculously know all the lyrics to ‘Here Comes the Sun.’ Or maybe they’ve fashioned a drumset from all your pots and pans with out any  help.  But do all these signs point to music lessons and private instruction? 

It can be so hard to know when your child is ready for lessons.  One minute they’re gently picking out some notes on your old piano and the next minute you’re dealing with a full blown melt down.  The truth is there is no clear sign that a child is ready for lessons.  

In my 14 years teaching, there are signs that often indicate a child is ready for lessons.  Here’s a few that I’ve noticed :

1) Fascinated by Playing Instruments or Watching Others Make Music

Is your child magnetically attracted to instruments and making sounds?  If there is an instrument at grandma’s house, in the hotel lobby,  or in your home is that where you will find your child?  Then on some level they’ve identified that music is at the very least interesting and worthy of their attention, and that’s a clear signal. 

2) Singing and Making Up Their Own Songs

Some might argue that making up your own songs and singing is just part of being a kid.  I would agree and I would also add that kids are inherently musical.  So if your child is singing songs regularly and even likes to make up their own songs, this can be an organic entry into music instruction. 

3) They Ask for Lessons or For Someone to Teach Them

This may seem wild, as how many 4 year olds are aware of music lessons?  Turns out there are quite a few.  Parents talk about other kids, about how they learned to play as a child, and kids listen to all this talk about lessons and realize, ‘this is the way I get to play.’  Pretty soon you may find your child asking for lessons.  One suggestion I always tell parents is to let the kids build some interest.  If they ask, wait a little bit to see if they keep asking, then research teachers. The delayed gratification actually helps to really reinforce their interest. 

4) They Know Their Numbers, Colors, and Basic Shapes

If your child can count to four, name their colors, and basic shapes, then they have all the skills necessary to learn from a teacher who specilizes in early childhood music instruction.  It’s important to note that most private teachers do not teach students before the age of 5. Often before the age of 7.  That does not indicate anything about their teaching, other than it may not be developmentally appropriate for your young child.  I’ll post more about finding a developmentally appropriate music teacher in a later post.

5) They are Listening and Paying Attention

Are they micmicking bird sounds? Emmulating sirens and cars?  Or talking different kinds of voices?  These behaviors are indicators of listening.  Playing music and listening go hand in hand.  So, a child who is really engaged in listening might really enjoy lessons.  

6) They Go To School or Participate in Activities Without You

If your child enjoys school, then a 15 minute or 20 minute lesson is not such a stretch.  Especially if they already participate in other activities such as art classes or swim lessons without their grownups.  

Keep in mind these signs are show that music lessons MIGHT be a potential activity for your child.  Ultimately whether or not your child enjoys and thrives in the lessons will depend on the teacher and the home environment that supports the child’s musical growth.  And when in doubt, be patient and wait it out. You can always start next year.  Hope this helps you and your family on the creative journey!